Y E A R
by Haddi Etana
Summary: January: The first time we met was over a plastic truck in the sandbox. I fought for it, and you fought back.
1. Y E A R O N E

**JANUARY:** The first time we met was over a plastic truck in the sandbox. I fought for it, and you fought back. You were persistent on having _my_ truck. ("Ahem, it was originally _MINE_" you'd constantly persist years after the event) It led to us going home with at least three bruises and each a trip to each of our rooms for three days.

Later that week, my mom set up with your brother for us to meet up and apologize. We both looked away from one another, mumbling apologizes. They then told us to play nicely while they relaxed.

I got a broken nose, you got a broken finger.

* * *

**MARCH:** Two months pass and my mom, dad, and your brother meet up with us tagging along. They watched us carefully that day. I began trusting you.

Me coming over becomes a weekly thing.

* * *

**APRIL:** Finally, I end up meeting Rose, your cousin, and you meet Jade, my twin sister. We avoided the girls all afternoon, but they kept finding us and making us play dress up.

My birthday comes up, I'm five, and I get a drawing from Jade, and a poem from Rose. I asked you what you got me. You gave me a red clay cracked heart, and say, "My brain"

I put your "brain" in a jar.

* * *

**MAY:** I get to see your house for the first time because I was staying the night. I saw the smuppets and had a short freak out. We stayed in your room for the rest of the time.

You assumed that I thought your family was wired and lame.

I said they are the coolest people I knew.

When I went home, I cried, because I didn't want to leave you alone with the evil smuppets.

* * *

**JUNE:** Summer break came, and all of our guardians pitched in so we could go to Disneyland. We couldn't stop smiling during the entire car ride, all four of us continuously chanting "Disneyland! Disneyland!"

The first ride was Roses pick. She picked tea cups.

Jade went second. She picked meeting Donald Duck.

She didn't really understand the rules. You picked a roller coaster, and we couldn't go on it. You cried and pouted because you got nothing exciting, but your Bro suggested the Water Logs. You loved it.

Before we got to my pick, it began raining.

* * *

**JULY:** We were stuck in a hotel for two weeks, and we all entertained each other, waiting for the storm to pass. We played a game guessing what someone wanted to be when they got older.

Jade guessed at Rose's constantly("A book maker? A movie star? A singer? Someone who makes crayons!"), but never got it. Rose refused to tell us, even if we all gave up.

We guessed at Jades. When we finally gave in and she squealed out "To marry John!" And wrapped her arms around my neck. Then you yelled out that you were going to marry me. A big fight took place.

When the rain finally let up, I was finally able to decided what I wanted to go on the Buzzlightyear ride. We went.

I wandered off in line because there was a big fight between parents when a man pushed a kid. I'm away from the group. I ran through the park, desperately trying to find you all once I realized I was lost. I wandered on the train tracks, and mom found me.

Mom got run over by the train, and died instantly.

* * *

**AUGUST:** Even though I fully didn't understand what happened, I did know I wasn't going to see my mother again.

* * *

**OCTOBER:** You and Rose always came over, and every night we had desert with Rose's mom and your Bro. Dad kept making cakes.

Jade had to move in with our Grandfather, because Dad couldn't take how much she looked like mom.

We four went Trick or Treating with your Bro. Dad was too depressed, Rose's mom got drunk a lot, Granddad was too weak. Bro was the only okay one.

* * *

**NOVEMBER:** You came over while I was reading my first book. You took the book out of my hands, threw it away, and sat next to me.

I asked you why you had thrown my favorite and first book away.

"I'm the only book you need"

We left one spot open at Thanksgiving.

* * *

**DECEMBER:** Jade's birthday was first. I gave her a Ring Pop as a "Wedding Ring"(I gave you one when she wasn't looking), you got her a Donald Duck Plushie. Rose got her a poem.

Yours was next. I gave you a poorly cut out sword on construction paper. Jade gave you a drawing of us all. Rose got you a poem.

Roses birthday is last. We all gave her poems.

Christmas came, and we all went to Rose's house for the event. We all were forced to dress nice in little tuxes. When no one was looking, we'd yank at them. They were tight.

On New Year's Eve, we all played with fireworks. We were told if we made a wish at twelve, it'd come true. We continued playing with the sparklers, and when they all died out, it was almost twelve.

We waited, and when it became twelve, "I want more sparklers!" Jade cried out.

Mrs. Lalonde stayed over with Rose for the night. We both watched and listened to my dad sobbing at the staircase. Mrs. Lalonde comfort him with alcohol and paps.


	2. Y E A R T W O

**JANUARY: **

Dad tries buying me a book, but I refuse to read it.

Dad tells me it's an important day, and I instantly know. That day is the first time we met.

* * *

**FEBRUARY:**

Dad and the other adults gather us up for Valentines Day. I still don't really understand it completely, but I know you give hearts to your friends saying nice things about them. I give you, Jade, and Rose a heart.

I visit your house for the second time. We avoid the smuppets as much as we can.

I cry when I leave again. You say you can protect yourself against the smuppets.

* * *

**MARCH:**

We have Easter together. Rose ends up finding the most eggs, but Jade finds none. You give her all your eggs before she starts crying.

* * *

**APRIL:**

My birthday comes up, Jade gives me a 'magic rock' she found. You give me a drawing that you state out took you a week to finish, making a comment that I should "Really like it or else" Rose gave me a book she made out of construction paper.

You allow it.

* * *

**MAY**:

Bro gathers us all up and we go to_ Peter Pipers Pizza_ without our parents permission. When Dad found out, I couldn't visit for a month

* * *

**JULY:**

We all visit moms grave together. Dad soon tells us all to go to the car with Bro and Grampa. Dad comes back with red eyes.

While visiting Grampa's house, I ask you, Jade, and Rose where Mommy went. Everyone shrugs.

"Mommy said that she is working to keep you alive" Rose states out

"Bro said that your mom had passed..." You pause "A big test and was going to be gone for a little bit!"

* * *

**AUGUST:**

We all start school for the first time, and all four of us get into Mrs. Treese class. We all sit together, and stay together.

I accidentally lost my glasses, but a boy name Karkat found them for me. He's a real meanie, but is also real nice.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER**:

We have to read in class, and I tell Mrs. Treese I can't read it. When she asks why, I tell her "It's illegal in Strider town"

* * *

**OCTOBER:**

Just Rose and I go to the park where we first met. I can see Mrs. Lalonde rubbing Dad's back while his hands are holding his head.

Dad doesn't drive me out to go Trick or Treating.

* * *

**NOVEMBER:**

I visit your house, and Dad warns Bro on telling him where he takes us. We run off to your room as fast as we can, slamming the door shut and locking it so the smuppets don't come in.

When night comes, I ask you "How much longer till mommy comes home?"

You stay quiet, then you turn over and hug me "A while longer" you mumble.

When I leave, I tell my dad on the way to the car "Daddy, don't worry, Mommy's coming home soon! So you don't need to cry anymore!"

Later that night, I hear him sobbing.

We leave a seat open on Thanksgiving.

* * *

**DECEMBER:**

Jade's birthday, and she gets a big doll house from dad, so most of he time, she plays with that. I give her a pretty hair tie that I bought for fifty cents. You give her a bracelet you made, which looked terrible, but she still loved it. Rose gave her a snowflake she made.

Your birthday, and I got you a stuffed penguin, even though you seemed not to like the penguin your self, you still accepted it. Rose gave you a very pretty clay sword she made. Jade gives you suckers, and ends up putting it on your glasses.

Bro took you out of the room to change your glasses, which we don't understand at all.

Rose is given a pink pony by Jade, and I give her a doll that I had gotten at a garage sale, but dad helped me clean in (He did it himself while I watched). You give her a poorly made charm bracelet.

For Christmas, we all gathered up at Lalonde's house. Dad didn't want any presents, and refused every present from everyone. He didn't even accept mine.

Later that night, I watched him take a present from Ms. Lalonde. He opened it, and kissed her as thanks. I cried that night because I feel like dad is replacing me.

New Years comes, and I barely participate. You decide that it's unfair, and sit next to me as we watch the girls play.

I wish in the New Year that daddy'll love me more. You're the only one I tell, and you pinky swear not to tell anyone.


	3. Y E A R T H R E E

**JANUARY:**

We get put back in school after the Christmas break, and we have to write what we did. I write _'Nothing speshal but play with my frends'_, Rose said _'Had a fun time and got nice things'_, Jade wrote _'Got prety prety awsome gifs!'_, You put down _'It was fun'_.

Karkat came in the middle of class in the middle of the month, and he has a lot of scratches and bruises. He doesn't wanna tell anyone, so we bother him until he pushes me and runs off. I don't really understand Karkat, but I know he is a neato guy.

You and Karkat's friend, Gamzee, end up slapping each other during play time, so you both go to the principle's office because you don't do things like that.

On the day we had first met, I walk up to you and give you a flower crown. You say that it's just your style.

* * *

**FEBRUARY:**  
I still really don't understand Valentines. Dad tells me that it's a time to remind you to keep loving no matter what. To love your friends, family, and forgive your enemies.

I make you give Gamzee a heart as an apology.

Terezi joins are school, and the teacher tells us be careful with her, that she can't see anymore. Karkat seems to stick to her like glue.

When I ask Terezi what had happened to her eyes, she just turned her head to the girl named Vriska.

* * *

**MARCH:**  
This time, Bro does ask Dad if I can go to Chuckie Cheeses. He says yes.

We all crawl up in the big tube and play Cops and Robbers in the play place. We stay until we get asked to leave.

I finally talk to Vriska, and we become best friends instantly.

* * *

**APRIL:**  
My birthday is here and I'm seven! I get a big book on pranking from Dad, even though I can't read it that well yet. You give me a flower crown, kinda like mine, but a lot messier, and it keeps falling a part. I say it's just my style. Rose gives me a cool candy ring that her and her mom made. Jade gives me a drawing, but it's a lot better than the ones before!

Rose comes over, and she stays for a while. Daddy and Ms. Lalonde stay in his room for most of the time. When the door actually opens, Ms. Lalonde comes out.

I stay over at your house again for a bit while Rose stays over too. Daddy says he and Ms. Lalonde need some time alone.

I ask you why my mommy hasn't set me a birthdays present. You say she can't. I ask when she's coming home. You say soon.

* * *

**MAY:**  
When I ask Daddy if we can go to Disneyland for the summer, he tells me to go to my room. When I try asking why, he yells at me. I cry in my room that night.

* * *

**JUNE:**  
I stay with Grampa and Jade for a while on their island. Jade shows me Bec and says he's the nicest nice nicest nice dog ever! He tackles me once I see him, and I giggle and hug him.

When I tell Jade that mommy is coming home soon, we get really happy. We tell Grampa. He doesn't say anything to us.

When I go home, Dad sits me down on a couch and says "Mommy isn't coming home"

I laugh and say "She's taking a test, so she'll come home soon!"

He sends me to my room again.

* * *

**JULY:**  
We visit the graveyard again and I sit in the car with Rose, you, Jade, and Bec. Bec keeps running over my legs and we laugh as he constantly licks your face. When he tries licking your glasses, you scold him.

When they get back, Daddy's eyes has gotten all red again.

Over the month, Rose's mom comes over more with Rose, and she stays the night more.

* * *

**AUGUST:**  
I visit your house again, and I ask you like all the other times, "When is mommy coming home?"

You give me he same answer, "Soon" and you wrap me in your arms.

Most of the time, we stay in your room. That's just so we can escape the smuppets. The only one I like is Lil'Cal.

Before my father gets to your house to pick me up, you hug me and don't let go. I don't understand why.

We start school again, and its 2nd grade. We get the same class as last year.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER****:**  
Me, you, and Rose visit Grandpa's house, and when we get there, Bec begins licking you again "He really likes you!" Jade giggles

"Get off!" You cry.

While away, I can hear Grandpa talking over the phone "Tell him that things will get better... he can't continue to ignore him... He's just a boy!... John doesn't even realize what's happening around him... If he won't take care of him, I will!"

I run back to Jade's room and quietly shake your shoulders to wake you up. Before you turn to me, you put your shades on and turn to me. You scoot over and let me hide under the blanket with you.

Rose and Dave go home.

I don't.

* * *

**OCTOBER:**  
For Halloween, Grandpa let's us carve pumpkins. We don't go Trick or Treating.

At school, Rose says that her mommy comes to Daddy's a lot, and Daddy goes to their house too.

* * *

**NOVEMBER:**  
When I ask Grandpa when I can go home, he says soon.

We go back to Dad's house, and Thanksgiving is really quite. The air feels wired. There's one seat left open.

Everyone stays the night, you and Bro in the living room with Rose. Jade and I sleep in my room. Rose's mom and my dad take Daddy's room.

At night, I hear Grandpa and Dad talking. When they start yelling really loudly, Dave and Rose run into the room. We all hide under the covers together while we hold each other, crying.

Rose's mommy yells at Grandpa. Grandpa yells at Dad. Dad yells at Bro. Bro yells at Rose's mommy.

Bro and Dad continue screaming

"No! John is _my_ son! No one is ever fucking taking him away! _NO ONE_!"

"He isn't in a healthy environment and you know that!"

"He's in the perfect enviorment!"

"You're acting like Jade does;t even exist!"

"Take you dumb ass brother and get the fuck out of my house!

There's a punch.

More follows after.

We continue crying, louder, and I soon feel Jade get taken away, sobbing. Rose's mommy takes Rose. When you're about to go and be taken, I hold you and cry harder.

"Everything'll be okay John" I hear you say calmly, despite that you are crying hard.

Bro takes you.

Everyone leaves.

When I go to school a week later, we try avoiding the subject. Karkat notices us being tense and demands to know what's wrong. I don't tell him.

* * *

**DECEMBER:**  
Nothing's celebrated, no gifts are given.

When Karkat keeps pressing, I break under the pressure and he awkwardly hugs me.


	4. Y E A R F O U R

**JANUARY: **We come back from winter break, and the teacher ask us what happened while we were gone. We all lie.

_'It was fun_'.

We can notice Jade being absent a lot.

On the day we met, I walk to you at play time and we sit under a tree while I teach you to make a flower crown. You still suck at it, but I can't lie "You're doing better!"

When Bro picks you up, he asks you to go to the car. He walks to me and kneels in front of me, putting hands on my shoulders "I'm so sorry, John. I'm sorry you're experiencing all this" he hugs me and leaves.

I wave you both good-bye.

* * *

**FEBRUARY:**I make everyone in our class a card for Valentines day, and during the party we eat cake and drink root-beer floats.

We laugh and enjoy ourselves.

Some kids begin bullying me at school, but I won't tell anyone.

* * *

**MARCH: **Dad gives me a computer, telling me to occupy myself with it, but only if I finish my homework first. I jump on the moment he leaves the room and begin playing it immediately. I hadn't done my homework.

Rose and Jade are absent. We both spend three days just talking to each other instead of talking to others. You seems that you are the only one who understands how scared I was in November. Whenever I notice we are out of the teachers view, I cry to you.

Karkat comes with a black eye, and he tells everyone it's from a baseball when playing with his brother.

Vriska and I talk about how she likes the number eight a lot.

On Easter, the entire school looks for eggs around the school for prizes. The ultimate surprise is given when someone finds the golden egg. Gamzee finds it, but he gives it to a boy named Tavros. Tavros gets a whole bunch of candy, and he shares it with Gamzee.

* * *

**APRIL: **When April the first comes around, I play my first prank. I keep hitting you with rubber bands, but the second you turn to look at me, I look down. At Recess, you tell me that you know it was me.

We say next time we'll do it to Jade.

I'm eight.

When the subject of my birthday comes up, Dad tells me the computer is the present and goes to the kitchen to make even more cakes.

The class doesn't hesitate to sing me _Happy Birthday_. I blush while everyone does so, looking at the floor with an embarrassed grin.

When we go outside, Jade gives me three fake rings she made in art, Rose gives me a card with a dollar in it, and you give me three things. One of them is a card from Bro, and the other is from yourself. Your present is a fake blow-up sword.

"Now you can protect yourself"

At home I read Bro's letter.

"Happy Birthday, John

I'm sorry things have gone bad, and I wish this whole thing didn't go out of control. If you need anything, you can come to Dave or I for it.

-Bro"

At the bottom, there is a picture of Lil'Cal

"Hee Hee Hoo Hoo"

* * *

**MAY: **Vriska and I play pirates, and I end up falling off a log and break my leg. Vriska keeps apologizing, but I'm crying too much to reply to her.

When Dad comes to see me, he scolds me and leaves. I wonder why he doesn't love me anymore.

When Bro and you see me for the first time since I broke my leg, you run into the room and hug me as tight as you can

"Becareful, Dave"

When they ask me about what cake Dad made me on my birthday, I say none. You guys leave.

Rose and Rose's Mommy comes, and Rose holds my hand, looking like she wants to cry. "I thought you died or somthin'!" Rose's Mommy kisses my forehead and says I'll see them soon.

Grandpa and Jade come in, and Jade instantly cries when she sees me, jumping on my hospital bed and hugging me tightly. Grandpa tells Jade to get off, but I hug her back. I miss my twin.

Grandpa gives me chocolate, and he kisses my forehead and leaves with a sobbing Jade

Vriska comes in with her mommy, and her mommy pushes her in. Vriska looks up at me and begins crying "I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry"

I grab her hand "It's okay Vriska" I then promise her when I get better I'll play pirates again.

The next day, you and Bro bring me a big chocolate cake. We all eat it together.

* * *

**JUNE: **While Dad's visiting, Grampa and Jade come in. Doctors pry between Grampa and Dad get told to leave after a very loud conversation.

Jade waves goodbye before she says hello.

When you visit again, I tell you what happened. Bro apologizes and hugs me.

When I ask why Daddy doesn't love me anymore, Bro looks at me and won't reply.

You both give me a chocolate cake as a late birthday.

We all eat it happily.

I'm out of the hospital with a cast. I then realize you can't see me until school comes back around. I sit in my room, taking my time alone on the internet aimlessly after making up all my homework.

* * *

**JULY: **Daddy goes to the Graveyard without me.

You sneak into my room and I ask you what you're doing

"I have to see my best bro every once in a while"

You give me your name on Pesterchat. I talk to you every single day when I can.

My cast comes off.

* * *

**AUGUST: **School starts for third grade. I play pirates with Vriska.

I hug Rose and Jade on the first day, telling them how I missed them. I have my class with Rose. You have yours with Jade. The only time we talk is at Recess.

My reading average is below average. You legalize reading it in Stridertown.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER: **Karkat ends up breaking his arm and doesn't come to school. When I ask daddy if I can go visit him, he yells 'No' and sends me to my room.

I ask you to sneak in my room. When you do, you lie down with me and hug me while I cry silently. If I'm too loud Dad'll get mad. When I wake up, you're still here.

* * *

**OCTOBER: **I hear kids talking about funny words, '_sex_' and '_rape_'.

The bullies keep bullying me, and they push me off the top of the playground and I fall on my leg I broke. When I'm limping, you ask why. I say I fell.

We won't celebrate Halloween this year.

* * *

**NOVEMBER: **When the teacher ask what I was for Halloween, I say "A ghost"

Rose walks up and hugs me, then kisses me. She says I can tell her anything.

On Thanksgiving, dad sits at the table talking to the empty seat across him as he eats his dinner.

* * *

**DECEMBER: **It's Jade's birthday, I give her the present at school. I give her a macaroni picture.

It's your birthday, we sit on the swing sets. I try giving you your present, but you stop me and say you won't take it. When I ask why, you stand up, walk to me, and peck me on the lips.

"That's my birthday present"

It's Rose's birthday, I give her a plastic necklace I found on the floor and had rinsed off. She wears it everyday.

It's closer to winter break, and Jade gives me the prettiest bracelet I have ever seen, and tells me to keep it safe and away from daddy. I do.

Winter break is here, and you make sure to talk to me all you can over the internet. I make sure to talk to you too.

No Christmas celebrating.

When the New Year comes, I sneak outside and watch the stars and listen to the popping of fireworks. I wish that this year Daddy and Bro will make up. I beg and beg that he'll love me too.


	5. Y E A R F I V E

**JANUARY:** School starts up after break, and we all can notice that Jade isn't here.

The school is under construction behind the playground, which includes breaking the fence down. They're making a building, so it may take a while.

It's the day we met, you teach me to climb a tree. The teachers end up seeing us; we climb even higher. We're at the top, and cheer loudly, hands in the air and everything. But then there's a snap, and I can clearly see you fall off.

I catch you.

Dad and Bro have to pick us up because we get in a lot of trouble for doing that. They come at the same time. The teachers ask them to leave, that they're upsetting the students.

**FEBRUARY:** It's Valentines day, I give you and Rose a card. I keep one for Jade incase she comes back.

I get a message on Pesterchum, and it's a green text. It's Jade. She explains that Gramps had to pull her out, but not by his choice.

I tell her I love and miss her.

**MARCH:** At school, the bullies start taunting me again. As always, I ignore. But not for long. They start saying stuff like moms dead. That I have no mom. That they read the article and _I_ killed her. It was all _my_ fault.

I run home crying.

I refuse to leave my room for two weeks.

You visit me everyday after school. When you find out what happened, you get really _really_ angry.

Next night your holding me.

"Dave, where's your mommy and daddy?"

"Not here." You snort

**APRIL:** I get forced to go back to school by dad. I don't tell him what happened.

I figure out the bullies got beaten up by you, and you got suspended for another three weeks.

I'm nine, and you visit me. You got me a pair of shades. When I ask why, you say only the coolest of cool kids wear them. I'm officially a cool kid. Rose gives me a book. She notes I need to boost my reading level. Jade draws me a picture, sending it over the computer.

There's a new kid while your gone. His name is Eridan, and he really likes scarfs and fish puns.

You come back.

**MAY:** You come to my house an hour after school has ended. You hug me and I hug you back. You begin crying, and I don't know why, but you keep repeating the same thing over and over.

"I'm a freak, I'm a freak"

"No you're not" you don't listen.

You stay for the night.

It's the next day and you let us know you got a phone.

**JUNE:** It's a week since school went out, Rose gets a Pesterchum.

You make sure to keep contact with me some way over break. You end up visiting me around midnight, not long after I fell asleep. You wrap me in a tight hug, but don't tell me whats wrong. You never do tell me your problems.

You try to hide it, but even though your quiet, I can feel your tears on my neck.

**JULY:** Dad goes to moms grave without me. He comes in stumbling around midnight with Ms. Lalonde. They both disappear in his room.

To distract myself from the strange noises, I talk to Jade all night. We talk about mom.

The next day, I ask you was it my fault she died. You don't respond. Instead, you come to my house and yell at me for being so stupid for thinking that. Then you hug me.

Good thing dad was at work.

**AUGUST:** School is back in action, and when I'm with you, the bullies stay away. You and I have our own class together. Rose's classroom is next door. With the bullies.

You and Karkat get in trouble for drawing something on the trees in the playground. Something called a '_Penis_'.

Bro picks you up from school and asks if dad has work. I say yes. He says get in the car. We get ice cream at a gas station/ice cream store right outside town. It's the best ice cream I've ever eaten.

When I get home, dad's there.

Turns out he got off early.

**SEPTEMBER****: **Bro ends up getting in big trouble after dad called the cops, and you stay with Ms. Lalonde for a while.

It's been a week, and you come to my house by knocking on the door. I answer. You start yelling. "Where's your dad?!" When you see dad, you let your colorful vocabulary shine. Dad calls the cops on _you_.

He tells me never to talk to that 'Ignorant, ungrateful, thick-headed, disgusting' boy again. I cry myself to sleep that night. No ones there to hold me.

You come to school a week later. You don't explain what happened when you went away. I don't push you into telling me it as usual. But everyone seems to avoid you.

Rose and I don't.

**OCTOBER:** You spend time with Rose a lot. Whenever you sneak into my house, you always cry yourself to sleep. I'm trying _really_ hard to make you happy. Trust me, I really am. Every time I manage a small smile, or even a half smirk, I feel a little more completed.

You and I sit outside during Recess as we watch the construction coming to an end. A big store is across the playground now. You grab my hand "Come on" You pull me to the broken fence when the teachers aren't looking, and run. I don't know where were going, but I don't care. All I know is that you're smiling.

That's all that matters.

You take me to your apartment. Even though there are smuppets, I feel safe because you're next to me. You take me to a bedroom. It's Bro's, in which I can tell because of the familiar cologne.

You drag me to the bed and we lie down. You say it's safe now.

We cry together.

In the morning, you take me to my house. Then you go back to Ms. Lalonde's. When dad knows I'm back, all he does is yell at me. I then realize I'm slowly becoming immune to his yelling. I realize I no longer care.

No Halloween, as usual

**NOVEMBER:** Rose asks me if I feel upset about anything. I say no. And I'm still lying.

I go home and make sure you won't come over and talk to me for the night. I take out my journal and draw. I draw Ms. Lalonde and Rose. I draw Grampa and Dad. I draw Bro and you. I draw Jade and I. I draw mo-…

...

...

...

...

...

...

I can't remember my mommy's face.

It's Thanksgiving, and daddy talks to the chair in front of him. But not like last year. This time, it's rarely anything. He doesn't seem to really care anymore.

Vriska brings a real spider to school, then goes to the bullies and sticks it down one of their shirts. She gets sent to the principle's office.

Terezi makes sure I don't laugh too loud.

**DECEMBER:** All I know is that I'm alone this Christmas. It's not like last year. This year, I know mommy's not coming back.

I don't bother wishing for her to come back this New Years.

I don't bother wishing for daddy to finally love me again.

I don't bother wishing for Jade to get welcomed in the family again.

I don't bother wishing for peace between Bro and Dad.

I don't bother wishing for hope.

I don't bother having hope.


	6. Y E A R S I X

**JANUARY:** I'm searching though my closet for a controller so I can play some games, but I end up finding a large book. I recognize it instantly.

The day we had met, and we meet up after school and tell Rose's Mom and my Dad we're staying behind for tutoring and will walk home. We instead go to the playground and climb in the trees.

You and I stay up there all day, just talking about everything and everyone in our lives.

Turns out everyone has a phone, so I begin begging Dad to let me get a phone. He snaps at me, saying if it will shut me up, he'll get one for me.

A week later he gives me a phone.

* * *

**FEBRUARY**: I call Jade as much as I can as weeks pass by. When dad notices I am, he takes my phone away. When I ask why, he just tells me to get to my homework.

Valentines, and I just make glitter cards in class like every year. I send Jade one without letting Dad know.

You come to my house late at night and tell me to get dressed. I do as you say, and we sneak out of my house.

You ask if I had seen my moms grave last year. I say no. You take me to the graveyard and we just sit at her grave, staring at it as you hold my hand to comfort me as I cry.

* * *

**MARCH:** You become absent for a week straight, and the bullies begin bothering me again.

It's Friday, and when the bullies bring up my mom again on the playground. I grab a rock and chunk them until they run away.

I'm grounded, of course.

Rose and I pick flowers to send to Jade. She says that all she sees around the island is the same old flowers, and doesn't have any seeds to plant for new ones. We decide that she deserves some blue bonnets.

I make sure to hide them before sending it off.

* * *

**APRIL:** The first of April and I decide to throw off a big prank (well, big for me at age nine). I go to school and walk up to Mrs. Johnson's desk and lay a rubber cockroach under her books, then a rubber spider in her drink.

When she finds them, we all just laugh.

I end up getting caught, but I just laugh it off with you later.

When cleaning out the garage as punishment, I find a movie called Con Air. I take it to my room and start it. An obsession slowly grows.

My birthday, I'm ten. Rose makes me crayons that have been melted into a heart shape.

You go up to me at night and take me out again. We head to the park we first met at. You point at the playground and tell me to pick out a rock. I do as said and pick out a tan large rock. You tell me to pick something smaller.

Jade sends me an awesome picture of us. She's getting really good.

Finally, I bring you a regular medium rock that fits in my entire hand, in which you take out a sharpie and take me to a bench. You write on the rock, _"John Egbert is my best bro for the rest of my life"_ in small letters, then put a line under it with a tally mark.

"On every birthday I'm with you, I will put a tally"

At school, I put a sticker on the teachers seat face up. She walked around all day with The Wiggles on her butt.

* * *

**MAY:** You and I ditch school, not really in the mood to deal with anything. We just sit on a park bench and talk about stupid stuff.

Dad sends me to my room and I just shrug him off.

I talk to Jade all weekend and she talks about how lonely she is. She only has Grampa and Bec. I tell her that when we're older, we will visit her. Regardless of what anyone says, because I miss my twin.

I talk to Karkat, and he has an eyepatch on. When I ask if he's dressing as a pirate, he tells me to keep my nose out of others business.

At the end of the school year, I pull off a huge prank and I get sent home early. I guess the principle doesn't like pumpkins.

* * *

**JUNE:** I make sure to talk to Rose everyday. Turns out her Mom is getting more and more drunk everyday. It turns out Dad isn't even going to work. He's going to their house and 'hanging out' with Rose's mom.

It's not like he has to lie, I don't even care.

You confirm that information with me.

* * *

**JULY:** I sneak to Rose's house at night (More like you let me in through the window in the room you're staying in) and stay in her room with you. I make sure you both are okay, and that she doesn't feel lonely because of her mom.

We stay up all night playing with her Ouji board.

We don't find any ghost.

You take me to my moms grave and we talk as if she's listening.

AUGUST: We start fifth grade, and you tell me that we're one more step until we are the coolest of cool kids, and next year, we'll be in middle school.

As showing off we're back in action, I begin playing a big prank on out teacher Mr. Dellward. Everyday I put a small dell pickle on his chair seat.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER:** You come over one night and I pop in Con Air. I make you watch it with me all night long. You just poke me and bother me. You even let my rarely watch the movie!

We pull off a big prank ourselves. We chew a whole bunch of bubble gum and sneak into Mr. Dillward's classroom. We stick gum under all of his papers and press them to the paper.

We both get in a whole lotta trouble.

* * *

**OCTOBER:** Rose worries about us and tries counseling me. I tell her I'm perfectly fine. Just playing some harmless pranks is all with my best bro.

We skip school to go to the park where the pumpkin patch is growing. You let me pick out a baby pumpkin and pay for it.

We both get baby pumpkins and sit at the park for the rest of the day, just drawing silly faces on them. You make sure to get one for Rose to draw on when you get home.

Dad yells at me, but I brush him off. I just continue playing my games.

* * *

**NOVEMBER:** We both sit outside one day and just say nothing.

We pull off another prank. We keep throwing paper balls at Mr. Dillward. A ginger kid next to us gets in trouble. We just laugh it off.

Rose confronts me again.

And I tell her the same.

Dad doesn't even talk to the seat across him at Thanksgiving. He just grabs his keys and goes to the Lalonde's.

Later you message me saying there was a lot of noise coming from Mrs. Lalonde's room.

* * *

**DECEMBER:** Jade's birthday rolls around, so I can't give her anything. We all ship her a package with her favorite snacks, movies, and plushes.

Your birthday rolls around and I give you your gift. I get you a pop out card I spent the last week on. You tell me it's the best. Rose gives you a fat book and let's you know that it wouldn't hurt to brush up on your reading skills.

Before school goes off to break, Vriska and I play a prank with her spider. We hold it in our hands, then lurch out hand out to scare the person we're showing it to. I get bit by it, and get taken to the hospital.

Turns out when a Southern Black Widow, you don't exactly get happy results.

Once all the pain and such fade away, you sit in my bed room and tell me scary stories of spiders. I don't know why you did, but it scared me a lot, so I want nothing to do with spiders now!

When Christmas comes around, you get out of the house with me and take me downtown. No one seems to question two ten-year olds walk around alone.

New Years, and we sneak into Rose's room and pop up Jade over the cam on Rose's laptop. We sit on her bed and talk all night long, laughing, and I just wished a little more that Jade was here with me so I could hug her when the clock had struck twelve.


End file.
